As she approached the room, the guard opened the door for her. She passed through with a smile, and stopped to take in the scene. The room was warm we...l lit. It was the size of an average lounge, sound proofed, ventilated but with no outside windows. In the centre of the room was a large padded figure X, on its back. This was used to restrain the prisoners. A remote control allowed the operator to raise or lower the X. Consequently it could be raised to table height or lowered to floor level.. Though the logic on his girfriend's part had seemedstrange to Hank, it was perfectly understandeable to Hanna. Trying todecide what shoes to put on, Hanna tried on two very high, very shinyblack boots just to see if she could walk around in them. To her surprise,it was easy as pie. And after seeing how good they looked in combinationwith the rest of the outift, she decided on keeping them on.In all the excitement Hanna had forgotten the time. Mincing around in herbedroom (she was already. ”She led me to the Petite section of Young Woman’s’ clothing and started prowling through racks of dresses, pants and blouses. She spent 20 minutes pawing different stuff, handing me things to carry while she browsed. Jeans with cuts in the legs, short harmless dresses, and a blouse so thin I could see my hand through the material were some of the articles I was carrying. After leaving her fingerprints on almost everything in the department she headed for the changing rooms. “Stay here and I’ll. I felt like Iwas too fucked up for anyone to ever love - I knew that I needed to dealwith my feelings. Facing my fears, I made an appointment with my school'scounseling center.Therapy was slow going at first, and looking back at it I am amazed at howmuch fear I had. After a year of therapy, I had become to accept myself asa transsexual much more easily. I was left with a great decision, totransition or not to transition? That was the question. I had so manyfears then - I feared that my friends.
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