He was trying to lead her to her point.?She shook her head. "I didn't think that the life that we had...the life that we enjoyed together...had a plac... with the life that I imagined. I couldn't see it. And I wanted that life so bad, John. The life that I never had growing up. I thought I was almost there." She became choked up. She did not sob, but she did excuse herself for a moment and walk down the hall; he guessed her to be in the bathroom.?He patiently waited for her. He felt badly for. Alfred, Deaths servant, stood holdingDeaths horse.? Alfred had worked for theMaster for centuries.? At first sight,the same casual observer who enjoys walking in the mountains,would be excused for thinking that Alfred was a particularly grumpy and set inhis ways.? He would think that here wasan example of someone who looked so old and unwell that they had only a shorttime to live.? They would be right on allcounts.? Alfred only had two days, twentyseven minutes and fifty four seconds of life. However, knowing thatsuch misery would at least demonstrate the logical reaction of a soundmind prevented that thought from being all that comforting.Ian had regretted his behaviour the moment he'd arrived back home. Thesex had consumed his anger and frustration, and after feeling empty onthe walk back, guilt had filled that emotional void, and hit him hard.He'd never really had an explosion of anger like that where he'd beenable to carry out the dark thoughts in his head, and so the shame. Victoria represented every thing she was not and everything her ex-husband deserved. Though it hurt her, she was thankful that her husband dumped her and married a better woman. She was grateful she served this superior woman. As Victoria's inferior, she deeply believed that it was Victoria's right to torture her at will. She thought of herself as a piece of dogshit on Victoria's shoe, that needed to be punished for existing. Victoria was her goddess and she was her goddess's honored toy..
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