My sexual tormentor began pounding me. He drilled me mercilessly, clearly thrilled with the pain he brought me. Grunts began flowing past his lips as ...e forced himself into me with unyielding intensity. I retreat into myself. I tried pretending I was somewhere else, but the pain kept dragging me back. I tried to picture myself with someone less repulsive, someone younger. It didn’t work. Nothing did.I was trapped within my own body, unable to escape the hell that had become my life. Pain. I knew at the same time that she never would but nobody came close, nobody else mattered in that way. Oh, of course I had had people to share my bed, to fuck, but that’s all it was. They always disappointed, always fell short. Only Jess would do. I smoked another cigarette then, feeling extremely silly and embarrassed walked slowly back towards the hotel. Tippi was standing on the path, the sun behind her and through the soft white cotton of her long skirt her legs were shadows. I couldn’t see. .. I guess we sho--" I wasn't able to finish my sentence. Lauren kissed me straight on the lips. I could feel her tongue in my mouth and I kind of panicked at that point. I backed up a step and there was a look of fear in Lauren's eyes. "Oh my gosh... I'm sorry... I couldn't control myself."But I was barely listening. "No... That's... That's okay..." I leaned forward and kissed Lauren again. We seemed to have kissed for a while, I started to get lost in it. When I zoned back in, I realized. I loved my grandparents so I got over myself relatively quickly. And actually, it was grandpa who right after I graduated from college suggested I take job overseas for the tax breaks and because he thought I could build up a sizeable savings account. Little did he know of my propensity for having parties and even though he was right about the large income I could realize I was also more than capable of only being able to live from paycheck to paycheck. I mean I did manage to put a little away.
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