“You’re the smartest girl I know,” I said.“Not when it comes to men,” she said.“Well, you’re obviously a virgin,” I said. “Why would...you expect to know all about men?”I winced. I needed to just sew my mouth closed.She didn’t yell at me, though.“I’m not a virgin by choice,” she said. “Not exactly. I’m a virgin because I’m terrified of sex.”“Everybody’s nervous about it in the beginning,” I said.“I’m not nervous. I’m terrified. Sex ruined my mother’s life.”“Did she tell you that?”“No, but it was. My reaction was so intense everyone else in the room noticed, and they sent me out to sit in the waiting room. Fast forward several years. As I grew older, as is usually the case, I started working and went to visit my dad less and less. Then, I graduated high school and moved to the city where my Dad and Beth live to go to college. Beth, by this time, was an office manager, and offered me a job working in her office, filing paperwork and answering phones and so on, working around my. -I want to see you naked too, Helén, she said. I removed my bra and immediately she scrambled across the "bed" and sat on my lap, tweaking my nipples a bit roughly to begin with, but with my careful guidance, I was soon enjoying myself immensely. I kissed her forehead, I kissed her cheeks, I kissed her ears, her neck, her nose and her chin. Then I kissed her lips. She kissed back, mashing her closed mouth against mine.-Gently, I said. Like this. I tilted my head slightly and once again. Somebody else had the job of deciding their fate. If he got me bounced from the unit because of this I was going to be pissed.I fell into bed without even taking a shower first. I was tired and my ribs hurt slightly. It was a minor pain, but it was always there. The doctor told me when he released me that, if I couldn't control the pain with OTC drugs, we should consider come kind of therapy. I could deal with the pain with no drugs not even the OTC kind.Even with the pain I fell right asleep.
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